Exercise – July 14, 2008

I attended my second Iyengar Yoga class tonight. Is it seriously supposed to hurt this much? I never took a lot of Tai Chi or Shotokan Karate but there a quiet a few similarities in stances, foot placement and body positioning. I’ll be learning a new pose and parts of it will be very familiar. I suppose they are all types of martial art and share some foundations but it’s still interesting to me.

My cat made a hug mess/statement last night. I walked in the door from my class and was immediately assaulted by the fresh aroma of cat shit.

The first thing I noticed was the four foot long shit streak across the carpet. Then there was the pile of shit next to my desk. Another shit streak. And just for kicks, a nice pile of vomit.

The cat, of course, was sitting on top of the upper kitchen cabinets. He hops up there via the counter and fridge. He was glaring at me.

See, this is why I hate cats. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cat, but I’m a dog person at heart. I have a cat because I can’t have a dog. There are other reasons why I have THIS cat, but that’s another story. A dog, after having done what my cat just did, would have the decency and the moral fortitude to punish himself. I’d have walked into the apartment, noticed the mess, and then found the dog cowering in his kennel. If the dog couldn’t get to his kennel, or doesn’t have a “spot”, then he’d be waiting at the door for you, completely ashamed.

He’d probably even take you around to all the mess spots, some of which he didn’t cause like the time you spilled tomato sauce on the carpet, and point them out saying, “Here, I’m very sorry. I made a mess. I don’t know how I got the tomato sauce here, or even what tomato sauce is, although it’s very yummy, I tried to lick it all up, and could you maybe make some more and pour it over my food next time, heck, just pour it here on the carpet since it’s already messed up, right, stay on topic, anyway, I made some messes and I should be punished and I’m very, very sorry and it won’t happen again. Promise.” And then you’d get the dreaded puppy dog eyes and everything would be OK.

Or not. It’s been a long time since I had a dog.

But a cat? No. With a cat, it’s all your fault. And you will be punished. Severely. And cats carry a grudge, so in fact, this very incident is likely punishment for something you did long ago. Of course that doesn’t excuse you from punishment for THIS incident, nor does it absolve you for whatever it was you are currently being punished, so your list of offenses only goes up. It’s a terrible, self-sustaining cycle.


So I tossed the cat into the tub and washed the rest of the cat shit out of his hair and of course this will only get added to the things I’ll get punished for in the future. Damn cats.

6 responses to “Exercise – July 14, 2008

  1. Man..I see a whole mess a hurt coming your way! Good luck baby. They never forget. 😉

  2. you’re going to a very special hell.

  3. Your writing is so descriptive I can smell Sydney’s shit from here!

  4. “And then you’d get the dreaded puppy dog eyes and everything would be OK.”

    Well, not exactly. I came home once to find our golden retrieve had spent a long day with diarrhea. She was so happy that I was home she was wagging that big bushy tail – – – flinging “diarrhea residue” all over the kitchen. Walls, cabinets, tables, chairs . . .

  5. Get Goldfish, drown the dam Cat. Times get rough you can eat the fish!

  6. musingsofabittergirl

    Maybe time to change the cat’s food brand ? Doesn’t sound like he did it on purpose if there was vomit & pooh all over. Cats by nature like to be ‘clean’ and use the litter box — when they don’t it’s usually a health issue.

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